[If he wasn't in the headspace he's in right now, he would vastly be enjoying the very new, unfamiliar feeling of being wrapped in wings. It's. A lot. And strangely protective, even if he doesn't exactly get that feeling from Estinien himself.]
Thorne's agents? [Is that -- for the love of the gods. Of course he's not well-acquainted with the witch, but for his own sake, he had hoped Estinien would not only listen to his own advice, but surely what Geralt must have also told him.]
That sounds exactly like messing about with her, deciding to muck about with a sorceress because you don't like what she's doing. You're lucky you aren't dead! [He rubs his face. This is a mess, but it's also far more of a mess than he had ever imagined it would be. The fucking Singularity, all at the center of it again. He's so tired of it.] She doesn't work for Thorne. She doesn't work for anyone but herself.
[Estinien furrows his brow, his expression becoming a bit more tense with uncertain energy. He doesn't look angry, exactly, but he clearly doesn't think it's as simple as Jaskier's admonishments would make it out to be.]
Regardless of who she fights for, what is my alternative? To allow her, and any others that further Thorne's ends, to do as they please simply because... I should be afraid of them?
[He gets the impression that Jaskier thinks that he's incapable of handling Yennefer and therefore shouldn't even try, which is... frustrating, and has not ever been his way of approaching challenges, especially when he only had other people's anecdotal opinions to go off of. To simply lay down and accept Thorne's dominion without even trying... what would be the point of it?]
The effects of their actions are real, regardless of their power, regardless of their goals. Thorne already takes too much for granted.
This isn't about fear. Gods forbid I be the sort to tell others what they should really fear.
[Though he certainly believes warning anyone about Yennefer is far. He doesn't care if people fear her -- Jaskier himself certainly does -- but he also knows her, is quite knowledgeable of what she is capable of, and he does not hesitate to think she will kill someone for attacking her.
Which is what Estinien has done, by his own admission. The question is -- why didn't she?]
I understand your hatred of Thorne, Estinien. I truly do. I feel it burn in my own breast for what they've done to Geralt, to my own friends. But do you believe you'll solve anything, hurting the people who came here of no accord of their own? She was a prisoner, like you. She was beaten, attempted to be broken. She went through the very same as you. Believe me, she has no love lost for that kingdom. [And the words fall with distaste; in this entire plane or any other, he should be the last one trying to defend Yennefer. As much as he loathes her general presence, he does not wish her dead.] But this isn't a race of dogs, where we bet on our favorite breed. We are all simply trying to fucking survive in this world that none of us belong to.
[Yennefer is general is a concept he isn't sure he fully understands - he can only make guesses, in the end. He can guess that she is pursuing power for her own ends, and he can guess that she is still somehow collaborating, or at least speaking with, Geralt despite their... everything. Yet, if there's one thing he's learned, is that the two of them will resist interference until the very end. He can't simply just back down on account of their mess.
Jaskier, though, is someone he does care about the feelings of. He cares that this inconveniences him. The largest obstacle is that he feels like the only thing he can do that will make him and his associates happy is to give up on supporting any of the factions directly, and to write them off as equally lost causes.]
We aren't the only ones who matter.
[While he's honestly been quite furious about how hard the factions seem to lean in the opposite direction, he can't possibly accept the summoned all just doing whatever it takes to survive, everyone else be damned.]
Even dismissing the concept of altruism, I have... comrades. People as important to me as Geralt is to you. For better or for worse, they weren't brought here with me. This means that whatever happens here, whatever effect it might have on my realm... the responsibility to pursue their best interests lies with me.
The Abraxians claim that this world's calamity may become our own if handled wrongly - do I have any way of knowing this to be true? Nay. Yet, it fits with what I've experienced... and until I can confirm the safety of my people, I cannot simply allow these madmen to tip the scales at their whims, no matter their reasons.
[That's what he is saying. They aren't the only ones that matter, but these kingdoms, these forces, will use them like tools, because they could not care less about them. Their importance is only in the success of their summoning.
There is so easily crafted a wall between them. Perhaps it's always been there, of course, but he cannot imagine what Estinien would have learned in Solvunn that could shift one's alliances so thoroughly. He may not mean to be doing what they wish, but he is. Or, well. It's even more aligned with the Free Cities' agenda, really.]
I have plenty of companions I've left behind, but that's the -- that's it. We don't know, and as much as I hate to say it, the officials in Thorne have far more experience in this matter than we do. I'm not saying we should trust them, of course, but this... this business has gone on long before us. Before we were even born. Unfortunately, if you proceed with a hate crusade against anything Thorne attempts, you're doing exactly what the others want. Interference, disruption... the unbalancing of power.
[He sighs. Jaskier is already giving in to the idea that anything he says will not change anything. All he could do, perhaps, is encourage Yennefer to stay out of it... which, he feels, will have the opposite effect. He doesn't know what to argue. Better angled violence? Peace? Neutrality? All of them are choices, but despite their lack of them, Jaskier cannot see the benefit in attempting to silence any of the Summoned. They are all equal ground.] Forgive me if I can't see how killing one of my... comrades... would preserve your own on a different sphere. That matter, too, you have no way of knowing its truths.
[He understands Jaskier's discomfort with collaborating with the factions this way. They are being used, and Estinien has no argument to the contrary. He's used to being a tool, though - it's a part he can play. At least until a point. He doesn't think it's possible to get what he wants here without at least putting something on the table.
But he definitely doesn't think that Thorne has any more authority on this matter than Solvunn does.]
I wasn't trying to kill her. [At least, not initially. When she answered in kind so enthusiastically things had clearly gotten more dire than he'd hoped for.] I'll have you know that my first attack, measured so to avoid such an outcome, did absolutely nothing against her. 'Tis a struggle to pull one's punches against a power like hers... anything less than my all and I was crushed beneath her heel.
So, what are mine alternatives, I wonder? [And as he says it, this is clearly something he's been thinking about a lot, and not just a lead in his to his argument.] To allow her, and by extension Thorne, to have her way, no matter the cost? After all that happened with Geralt, attempting to convince her with words would be an insult to her conviction.
[It would be plainly stupid of him, he thinks, to simply ask Yennefer to abandon the casket, when she had already either participated in or allowed for the torture of someone she ostensibly cares for as part of the same political gamble. To get into Thorne's good graces, for whatever end. If someone were to lure her from her path, it would certainly not be him, but that doesn't mean he will surrender to her will without resistance.]
'Tis because we know so little that I support Solvunn's stance of nonintervention towards the Singularity. It allows us time to learn before making a choice, which Thorne and the Free Cities' overt meddling may not.
You attacked her! For fuck's sake, Estinien, that's the same thing. [This isn't some backroom bar brawl, this is a measured, intentional response to Thorne's proximity to the Singularity.] Of course if you attack her, she's going to think you're trying to kill her. You've already tried to kill people in front of her.
[And as he says it, he begins to wonder if that's the problem. He, too, has seen Estinien attack someone. At the moment, he could not have cared less. If someone stuck a particularly sharp stick in Ambrose's side, well. It wouldn't have mattered as long as he and Geralt and Ciri were able to escape. He can't even say he cares much about what Yennefer does; but he knows that this path will earn Estinien an enemy in Geralt, which he doesn't want to happen.
He's been among people he understands so long, he's forgotten those he doesn't. If Estinien sees no other options than, what, vaguely mutilating people? Then it's... he wonders if how well he thought of the dragon was earned. With that soul in him that sings of bloodshed and vengeance, how much of that does Estinien take upon himself?
There are plenty of knights who live for it. For bloodshed. He had only hoped --
Jaskier shakes his head, taking a few steps backwards in frustration. Frustration that does not allow his body to stay still. What of next time? If someone else decides to kill the witch? Or she kills one of his friends in turn?]
Estinien. You cannot be so naive as to think Solvunn truly has no interest in the Singularity. Please. Their stance of nonintervention? You mean like sending people there to murder the Summoned from Thorne? That sort of nonintervention? Or did you invent that bright idea on your own?
[Estinien hesitates, sensing the obvious turn in the conversation. Though he doesn't follow Jaskier as he steps back in frustration, he does seem to... sink, somehow - physically and emotionally. He crosses his arms around himself. This is not something he's had to contend with often, as it's always felt like those that have come to him for friendship have understood, on some level, his nature.
He feels strangely helpless, now - ill-suited to resolving this kind of dispute. It's all he can do to brace himself against it, resigning himself to taking Jaskier's lashes, and resisting the urge to lash out in kind. His words are measured as he speaks, seemingly deflated from the desire to argue passionately.]
Have you taken my words to mean that I am bemoaning her treatment of me as some unjust cruelty? Nay... 'tis only natural that she struck back in kind. I can only speak for mine own intent, not her interpretation of it.
[Estinien's frustration regarding his injuries and failure has little to do with Yennefer dispensing them and everything to do with his own inability to stop it. He's not judging her character for seeing him as an enemy and responding accordingly. His only qualm is with the path she's chosen to walk by its own merits, not that she would defend it to her full ability. He'd expect nothing less.
He's not sure he's ever had to contend with something like this before, and it hurts him more than he might have expected. What hurts the most is that he saw this schism coming from the moment Yennefer took Thorne's side. He'd tried to speak to Geralt about it in advance, to find some way past it, but was refused outright. He'd even thought at the time that the conflict would put an end to his and Jaskier's relationship, but when he spoke of it to the bard, he was assured that his assumption was foolish.
And yet here they are. The reality he had seen coming, and the reactions he had anticipated. Had they never truly listened to him? Had Jaskier truly just ignored everything he was telling him, ignored all of his fears, only to imagine something that wasn't there?]
I did not mean to imply that they would not intervene in the activities of the other factions... only that they see tampering with the Singularity itself as unnecessary and detrimental. They will fight against the manipulation of the Singularity, as evidenced by what they asked of us... which was not to 'murder', but to defend the Singularity from Thorne's touch.
[He doesn't understand why Jaskier sees Thorne's actions as neutral and Solvunn actions as aggression - was it not Thorne that took the first step? Thorne that decided to manipulate the Singularity despite the wishes of the rest of the nation? Thorne that brought the first of the Summoned? If Thorne had not deigned to set foot within the Singularity's radius, none of this would have happened.]
[Oh, it's very reassuring to know that both of them understand the idea that, once struck, it only makes sense to do one's utmost best to destroy the other. He makes a muffled sound of frustration into his hands, but it's not even about this. It's about this whole thing. This whole bloody places. Gods, he's sick of kingdoms. Politics. Men using men like pawns on a chessboard. And those who choose to be pawns.
He sighs. And yet he's still pacing. What else is there to do?
Jaskier will not participate in any of this, and he couldn't even if he wanted to. He's a bard, not a dragon. Not a knight. Not a warrior. He's not even one who can claim the so-called neutrality of the Witchers.
He's simply...
Tired.]
I don't get it. I don't know what you see in them. Why you trust them. You shouldn't trust any of these people, these kingdoms. Because, inherently, you do, simply by doing what they will. All of them will ply for their political machinations around this monolith that it is impossible for us to understand. And how do we even know that they don't work together? It's happened plenty before. This whole thing could be a ploy to get us to do whatever they want, and Summoned like you simply... go along with it. Because people like Marlo, or Ambrose, or whatever sorry bastard you have in Solvunn, find their angle in which to dig their claws, and it appears all so convenient that you share a common enemy.
[He lifts his hands, drops them. He's not sure why he's trying to convince Estinien. He doesn't care about Thorne, and certainly not Solvunn. But he cares for the Singularity, and what its fate could mean for all of them. Whether destruction, or salvation, or a mixture of both, they are all tied to it, whether they like it or not.] I don't want to be your enemy. I'm not. Gods, I can barely handle an appropriately sharp stick. I can't stop you from anything, Estinien, I only -- I don't want you to be someone else's pawn.
[He's increasingly convinced that Jaskier has the dynamic between him and Solvunn all wrong - he might even object more vehemently if it weren't for the fact that Jaskier is clearly going through something here. He doesn't really understand what exactly, but the frantic pacing and theories that amount to wild conspiracy in his mind give the impression of great stress.
It's understandable, considering. Estinien himself can't stand being helpless - which is part of what has driven him to take action.]
Have you truly never worked alongside an uneasy ally before? One you could not fully trust but with whom you shared an important goal? Or one with whom you shared a mutual enemy?
[He thinks of Iceheart. Though he'd been willing to collaborate with her at the Warrior of Light's behest, but he had been persistently aware that she may just try to kill them during the first leg of their quest. 'Trust' was not the word he would have used.]
I can assure you that Solvunn has done very little to ingratiate itself to me, let alone has it dug in any 'claws'. If anything, I've felt that their unwillingness to appeal to their conscript's sensibilities is downright suicidal - the people here are entirely convinced of their gods' will, and that everyone who is meant to serve their nation will find their way in the end, by destiny alone if naught else.
I spoke to their council, and within that context I was the one pushing for action - and yet, they denied me. An odd choice, were they looking explicitly for pawns... to deny one directly asking for them to make use of him.
[Estinien shakes his head, seemingly a bit more confident as he speaks. He shakes his head.]
Nay... my investment in Solvunn's plans has little to do with the nation itself, and only that their goals lie closest to the actions I would take of mine own volution. Do you truly think me incapable of employing discretion? To having thoughts beyond what are supplied by someone else?
[He doesn't sound as offended as he could have - he just truly doesn't understand why Jaskier seems to think so little of him intellectually. To assume that cooperation means blind trust, to assume that Estinien taking a stance must be as a result of some machinations on Solvunn's part, to assume that he is helpless to be anything but a pawn. He'd genuinely thought that Jaskier respected him... he'd really like to be somehow misunderstanding.]
[Jaskier stops pacing, putting his hands on his hips to look at him.] Uneasy ally? Like, what, a flatulent drummer? What sort of people do you think I work with?
[He thinks it's utterly fucking bizarre to be a warrior of any kind and work alongside, or for, as this is the case, someone that he feels uneasy about. If he's putting his life on the line, it better be alongside someone he would trust with holding a knife between his legs. Someone he could trust would not even nick his trousers.
This is really going nowhere. And in the end, Estinien is across this continent. He'll do what he believes in, and Jaskier will stay out of it.
Which means he'll have to find something else. Like... a proper fucking warning to Yennfer, maybe, even if she'll just ignore it.]
What I know of councils, and assemblies, ministries and parliaments -- they do not trust outsiders. So no, that doesn't particularly surprise me.
[He crosses his arms over his chest. What he's decided to say, he doesn't really want to. But it'll be true whether he says it or not.] I no longer think I understand you much at all, Estinien. Perhaps there is always meant to be a divide between bards and warriors. Discretion, to me, does not speak to the unleashing of wanton violence on others in similar circumstances.
[He doesn't think Estinien unintelligent, no. But he has met people similar. People like Ser Eyck. Who want to be used. To be used to get what they want. Glory, or power, or a sorceress's imagined virginity.
It's. The way the world works, he supposes. Every character in a play, no matter how minor, always has a desire.]
I didn't come to judge your choices or your character, I've simply... learned things. That surprise me. I'm glad you're all right, at the end of it. Truly. But I'm not sure if I can offer much more.
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coerthantorment) wrote2021-06-10 04:03 pm
no subject
Thorne's agents? [Is that -- for the love of the gods. Of course he's not well-acquainted with the witch, but for his own sake, he had hoped Estinien would not only listen to his own advice, but surely what Geralt must have also told him.]
That sounds exactly like messing about with her, deciding to muck about with a sorceress because you don't like what she's doing. You're lucky you aren't dead! [He rubs his face. This is a mess, but it's also far more of a mess than he had ever imagined it would be. The fucking Singularity, all at the center of it again. He's so tired of it.] She doesn't work for Thorne. She doesn't work for anyone but herself.
no subject
Regardless of who she fights for, what is my alternative? To allow her, and any others that further Thorne's ends, to do as they please simply because... I should be afraid of them?
[He gets the impression that Jaskier thinks that he's incapable of handling Yennefer and therefore shouldn't even try, which is... frustrating, and has not ever been his way of approaching challenges, especially when he only had other people's anecdotal opinions to go off of. To simply lay down and accept Thorne's dominion without even trying... what would be the point of it?]
The effects of their actions are real, regardless of their power, regardless of their goals. Thorne already takes too much for granted.
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[Though he certainly believes warning anyone about Yennefer is far. He doesn't care if people fear her -- Jaskier himself certainly does -- but he also knows her, is quite knowledgeable of what she is capable of, and he does not hesitate to think she will kill someone for attacking her.
Which is what Estinien has done, by his own admission. The question is -- why didn't she?]
I understand your hatred of Thorne, Estinien. I truly do. I feel it burn in my own breast for what they've done to Geralt, to my own friends. But do you believe you'll solve anything, hurting the people who came here of no accord of their own? She was a prisoner, like you. She was beaten, attempted to be broken. She went through the very same as you. Believe me, she has no love lost for that kingdom. [And the words fall with distaste; in this entire plane or any other, he should be the last one trying to defend Yennefer. As much as he loathes her general presence, he does not wish her dead.] But this isn't a race of dogs, where we bet on our favorite breed. We are all simply trying to fucking survive in this world that none of us belong to.
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Jaskier, though, is someone he does care about the feelings of. He cares that this inconveniences him. The largest obstacle is that he feels like the only thing he can do that will make him and his associates happy is to give up on supporting any of the factions directly, and to write them off as equally lost causes.]
We aren't the only ones who matter.
[While he's honestly been quite furious about how hard the factions seem to lean in the opposite direction, he can't possibly accept the summoned all just doing whatever it takes to survive, everyone else be damned.]
Even dismissing the concept of altruism, I have... comrades. People as important to me as Geralt is to you. For better or for worse, they weren't brought here with me. This means that whatever happens here, whatever effect it might have on my realm... the responsibility to pursue their best interests lies with me.
The Abraxians claim that this world's calamity may become our own if handled wrongly - do I have any way of knowing this to be true? Nay. Yet, it fits with what I've experienced... and until I can confirm the safety of my people, I cannot simply allow these madmen to tip the scales at their whims, no matter their reasons.
no subject
There is so easily crafted a wall between them. Perhaps it's always been there, of course, but he cannot imagine what Estinien would have learned in Solvunn that could shift one's alliances so thoroughly. He may not mean to be doing what they wish, but he is. Or, well. It's even more aligned with the Free Cities' agenda, really.]
I have plenty of companions I've left behind, but that's the -- that's it. We don't know, and as much as I hate to say it, the officials in Thorne have far more experience in this matter than we do. I'm not saying we should trust them, of course, but this... this business has gone on long before us. Before we were even born. Unfortunately, if you proceed with a hate crusade against anything Thorne attempts, you're doing exactly what the others want. Interference, disruption... the unbalancing of power.
[He sighs. Jaskier is already giving in to the idea that anything he says will not change anything. All he could do, perhaps, is encourage Yennefer to stay out of it... which, he feels, will have the opposite effect. He doesn't know what to argue. Better angled violence? Peace? Neutrality? All of them are choices, but despite their lack of them, Jaskier cannot see the benefit in attempting to silence any of the Summoned. They are all equal ground.] Forgive me if I can't see how killing one of my... comrades... would preserve your own on a different sphere. That matter, too, you have no way of knowing its truths.
no subject
But he definitely doesn't think that Thorne has any more authority on this matter than Solvunn does.]
I wasn't trying to kill her. [At least, not initially. When she answered in kind so enthusiastically things had clearly gotten more dire than he'd hoped for.] I'll have you know that my first attack, measured so to avoid such an outcome, did absolutely nothing against her. 'Tis a struggle to pull one's punches against a power like hers... anything less than my all and I was crushed beneath her heel.
So, what are mine alternatives, I wonder? [And as he says it, this is clearly something he's been thinking about a lot, and not just a lead in his to his argument.] To allow her, and by extension Thorne, to have her way, no matter the cost? After all that happened with Geralt, attempting to convince her with words would be an insult to her conviction.
[It would be plainly stupid of him, he thinks, to simply ask Yennefer to abandon the casket, when she had already either participated in or allowed for the torture of someone she ostensibly cares for as part of the same political gamble. To get into Thorne's good graces, for whatever end. If someone were to lure her from her path, it would certainly not be him, but that doesn't mean he will surrender to her will without resistance.]
'Tis because we know so little that I support Solvunn's stance of nonintervention towards the Singularity. It allows us time to learn before making a choice, which Thorne and the Free Cities' overt meddling may not.
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[And as he says it, he begins to wonder if that's the problem. He, too, has seen Estinien attack someone. At the moment, he could not have cared less. If someone stuck a particularly sharp stick in Ambrose's side, well. It wouldn't have mattered as long as he and Geralt and Ciri were able to escape. He can't even say he cares much about what Yennefer does; but he knows that this path will earn Estinien an enemy in Geralt, which he doesn't want to happen.
He's been among people he understands so long, he's forgotten those he doesn't. If Estinien sees no other options than, what, vaguely mutilating people? Then it's... he wonders if how well he thought of the dragon was earned. With that soul in him that sings of bloodshed and vengeance, how much of that does Estinien take upon himself?
There are plenty of knights who live for it. For bloodshed. He had only hoped --
Jaskier shakes his head, taking a few steps backwards in frustration. Frustration that does not allow his body to stay still. What of next time? If someone else decides to kill the witch? Or she kills one of his friends in turn?]
Estinien. You cannot be so naive as to think Solvunn truly has no interest in the Singularity. Please. Their stance of nonintervention? You mean like sending people there to murder the Summoned from Thorne? That sort of nonintervention? Or did you invent that bright idea on your own?
no subject
He feels strangely helpless, now - ill-suited to resolving this kind of dispute. It's all he can do to brace himself against it, resigning himself to taking Jaskier's lashes, and resisting the urge to lash out in kind. His words are measured as he speaks, seemingly deflated from the desire to argue passionately.]
Have you taken my words to mean that I am bemoaning her treatment of me as some unjust cruelty? Nay... 'tis only natural that she struck back in kind. I can only speak for mine own intent, not her interpretation of it.
[Estinien's frustration regarding his injuries and failure has little to do with Yennefer dispensing them and everything to do with his own inability to stop it. He's not judging her character for seeing him as an enemy and responding accordingly. His only qualm is with the path she's chosen to walk by its own merits, not that she would defend it to her full ability. He'd expect nothing less.
He's not sure he's ever had to contend with something like this before, and it hurts him more than he might have expected. What hurts the most is that he saw this schism coming from the moment Yennefer took Thorne's side. He'd tried to speak to Geralt about it in advance, to find some way past it, but was refused outright. He'd even thought at the time that the conflict would put an end to his and Jaskier's relationship, but when he spoke of it to the bard, he was assured that his assumption was foolish.
And yet here they are. The reality he had seen coming, and the reactions he had anticipated. Had they never truly listened to him? Had Jaskier truly just ignored everything he was telling him, ignored all of his fears, only to imagine something that wasn't there?]
I did not mean to imply that they would not intervene in the activities of the other factions... only that they see tampering with the Singularity itself as unnecessary and detrimental. They will fight against the manipulation of the Singularity, as evidenced by what they asked of us... which was not to 'murder', but to defend the Singularity from Thorne's touch.
[He doesn't understand why Jaskier sees Thorne's actions as neutral and Solvunn actions as aggression - was it not Thorne that took the first step? Thorne that decided to manipulate the Singularity despite the wishes of the rest of the nation? Thorne that brought the first of the Summoned? If Thorne had not deigned to set foot within the Singularity's radius, none of this would have happened.]
no subject
He sighs. And yet he's still pacing. What else is there to do?
Jaskier will not participate in any of this, and he couldn't even if he wanted to. He's a bard, not a dragon. Not a knight. Not a warrior. He's not even one who can claim the so-called neutrality of the Witchers.
He's simply...
Tired.]
I don't get it. I don't know what you see in them. Why you trust them. You shouldn't trust any of these people, these kingdoms. Because, inherently, you do, simply by doing what they will. All of them will ply for their political machinations around this monolith that it is impossible for us to understand. And how do we even know that they don't work together? It's happened plenty before. This whole thing could be a ploy to get us to do whatever they want, and Summoned like you simply... go along with it. Because people like Marlo, or Ambrose, or whatever sorry bastard you have in Solvunn, find their angle in which to dig their claws, and it appears all so convenient that you share a common enemy.
[He lifts his hands, drops them. He's not sure why he's trying to convince Estinien. He doesn't care about Thorne, and certainly not Solvunn. But he cares for the Singularity, and what its fate could mean for all of them. Whether destruction, or salvation, or a mixture of both, they are all tied to it, whether they like it or not.] I don't want to be your enemy. I'm not. Gods, I can barely handle an appropriately sharp stick. I can't stop you from anything, Estinien, I only -- I don't want you to be someone else's pawn.
no subject
It's understandable, considering. Estinien himself can't stand being helpless - which is part of what has driven him to take action.]
Have you truly never worked alongside an uneasy ally before? One you could not fully trust but with whom you shared an important goal? Or one with whom you shared a mutual enemy?
[He thinks of Iceheart. Though he'd been willing to collaborate with her at the Warrior of Light's behest, but he had been persistently aware that she may just try to kill them during the first leg of their quest. 'Trust' was not the word he would have used.]
I can assure you that Solvunn has done very little to ingratiate itself to me, let alone has it dug in any 'claws'. If anything, I've felt that their unwillingness to appeal to their conscript's sensibilities is downright suicidal - the people here are entirely convinced of their gods' will, and that everyone who is meant to serve their nation will find their way in the end, by destiny alone if naught else.
I spoke to their council, and within that context I was the one pushing for action - and yet, they denied me. An odd choice, were they looking explicitly for pawns... to deny one directly asking for them to make use of him.
[Estinien shakes his head, seemingly a bit more confident as he speaks. He shakes his head.]
Nay... my investment in Solvunn's plans has little to do with the nation itself, and only that their goals lie closest to the actions I would take of mine own volution. Do you truly think me incapable of employing discretion? To having thoughts beyond what are supplied by someone else?
[He doesn't sound as offended as he could have - he just truly doesn't understand why Jaskier seems to think so little of him intellectually. To assume that cooperation means blind trust, to assume that Estinien taking a stance must be as a result of some machinations on Solvunn's part, to assume that he is helpless to be anything but a pawn. He'd genuinely thought that Jaskier respected him... he'd really like to be somehow misunderstanding.]
no subject
[He thinks it's utterly fucking bizarre to be a warrior of any kind and work alongside, or for, as this is the case, someone that he feels uneasy about. If he's putting his life on the line, it better be alongside someone he would trust with holding a knife between his legs. Someone he could trust would not even nick his trousers.
This is really going nowhere. And in the end, Estinien is across this continent. He'll do what he believes in, and Jaskier will stay out of it.
Which means he'll have to find something else. Like... a proper fucking warning to Yennfer, maybe, even if she'll just ignore it.]
What I know of councils, and assemblies, ministries and parliaments -- they do not trust outsiders. So no, that doesn't particularly surprise me.
[He crosses his arms over his chest. What he's decided to say, he doesn't really want to. But it'll be true whether he says it or not.] I no longer think I understand you much at all, Estinien. Perhaps there is always meant to be a divide between bards and warriors. Discretion, to me, does not speak to the unleashing of wanton violence on others in similar circumstances.
[He doesn't think Estinien unintelligent, no. But he has met people similar. People like Ser Eyck. Who want to be used. To be used to get what they want. Glory, or power, or a sorceress's imagined virginity.
It's. The way the world works, he supposes. Every character in a play, no matter how minor, always has a desire.]
I didn't come to judge your choices or your character, I've simply... learned things. That surprise me. I'm glad you're all right, at the end of it. Truly. But I'm not sure if I can offer much more.