ABRAXAS INBOX

[coerthantorment]

ESTINIEN WYRMBLOOD

Final Fantasy XIV

Comments

[cointosser]

You attacked her! For fuck's sake, Estinien, that's the same thing. [This isn't some backroom bar brawl, this is a measured, intentional response to Thorne's proximity to the Singularity.] Of course if you attack her, she's going to think you're trying to kill her. You've already tried to kill people in front of her.

[And as he says it, he begins to wonder if that's the problem. He, too, has seen Estinien attack someone. At the moment, he could not have cared less. If someone stuck a particularly sharp stick in Ambrose's side, well. It wouldn't have mattered as long as he and Geralt and Ciri were able to escape. He can't even say he cares much about what Yennefer does; but he knows that this path will earn Estinien an enemy in Geralt, which he doesn't want to happen.

He's been among people he understands so long, he's forgotten those he doesn't. If Estinien sees no other options than, what, vaguely mutilating people? Then it's... he wonders if how well he thought of the dragon was earned. With that soul in him that sings of bloodshed and vengeance, how much of that does Estinien take upon himself?

There are plenty of knights who live for it. For bloodshed. He had only hoped --

Jaskier shakes his head, taking a few steps backwards in frustration. Frustration that does not allow his body to stay still. What of next time? If someone else decides to kill the witch? Or she kills one of his friends in turn?]

Estinien. You cannot be so naive as to think Solvunn truly has no interest in the Singularity. Please. Their stance of nonintervention? You mean like sending people there to murder the Summoned from Thorne? That sort of nonintervention? Or did you invent that bright idea on your own?

[coerthantorment]

[Estinien hesitates, sensing the obvious turn in the conversation. Though he doesn't follow Jaskier as he steps back in frustration, he does seem to... sink, somehow - physically and emotionally. He crosses his arms around himself. This is not something he's had to contend with often, as it's always felt like those that have come to him for friendship have understood, on some level, his nature.

He feels strangely helpless, now - ill-suited to resolving this kind of dispute. It's all he can do to brace himself against it, resigning himself to taking Jaskier's lashes, and resisting the urge to lash out in kind. His words are measured as he speaks, seemingly deflated from the desire to argue passionately.]

Have you taken my words to mean that I am bemoaning her treatment of me as some unjust cruelty? Nay... 'tis only natural that she struck back in kind. I can only speak for mine own intent, not her interpretation of it.

[Estinien's frustration regarding his injuries and failure has little to do with Yennefer dispensing them and everything to do with his own inability to stop it. He's not judging her character for seeing him as an enemy and responding accordingly. His only qualm is with the path she's chosen to walk by its own merits, not that she would defend it to her full ability. He'd expect nothing less.

He's not sure he's ever had to contend with something like this before, and it hurts him more than he might have expected. What hurts the most is that he saw this schism coming from the moment Yennefer took Thorne's side. He'd tried to speak to Geralt about it in advance, to find some way past it, but was refused outright. He'd even thought at the time that the conflict would put an end to his and Jaskier's relationship, but when he spoke of it to the bard, he was assured that his assumption was foolish.

And yet here they are. The reality he had seen coming, and the reactions he had anticipated. Had they never truly listened to him? Had Jaskier truly just ignored everything he was telling him, ignored all of his fears, only to imagine something that wasn't there?]

I did not mean to imply that they would not intervene in the activities of the other factions... only that they see tampering with the Singularity itself as unnecessary and detrimental. They will fight against the manipulation of the Singularity, as evidenced by what they asked of us... which was not to 'murder', but to defend the Singularity from Thorne's touch.

[He doesn't understand why Jaskier sees Thorne's actions as neutral and Solvunn actions as aggression - was it not Thorne that took the first step? Thorne that decided to manipulate the Singularity despite the wishes of the rest of the nation? Thorne that brought the first of the Summoned? If Thorne had not deigned to set foot within the Singularity's radius, none of this would have happened.]

[cointosser]

[Oh, it's very reassuring to know that both of them understand the idea that, once struck, it only makes sense to do one's utmost best to destroy the other. He makes a muffled sound of frustration into his hands, but it's not even about this. It's about this whole thing. This whole bloody places. Gods, he's sick of kingdoms. Politics. Men using men like pawns on a chessboard. And those who choose to be pawns.

He sighs. And yet he's still pacing. What else is there to do?

Jaskier will not participate in any of this, and he couldn't even if he wanted to. He's a bard, not a dragon. Not a knight. Not a warrior. He's not even one who can claim the so-called neutrality of the Witchers.

He's simply...

Tired.]

I don't get it. I don't know what you see in them. Why you trust them. You shouldn't trust any of these people, these kingdoms. Because, inherently, you do, simply by doing what they will. All of them will ply for their political machinations around this monolith that it is impossible for us to understand. And how do we even know that they don't work together? It's happened plenty before. This whole thing could be a ploy to get us to do whatever they want, and Summoned like you simply... go along with it. Because people like Marlo, or Ambrose, or whatever sorry bastard you have in Solvunn, find their angle in which to dig their claws, and it appears all so convenient that you share a common enemy.

[He lifts his hands, drops them. He's not sure why he's trying to convince Estinien. He doesn't care about Thorne, and certainly not Solvunn. But he cares for the Singularity, and what its fate could mean for all of them. Whether destruction, or salvation, or a mixture of both, they are all tied to it, whether they like it or not.] I don't want to be your enemy. I'm not. Gods, I can barely handle an appropriately sharp stick. I can't stop you from anything, Estinien, I only -- I don't want you to be someone else's pawn.

[coerthantorment]

[He's increasingly convinced that Jaskier has the dynamic between him and Solvunn all wrong - he might even object more vehemently if it weren't for the fact that Jaskier is clearly going through something here. He doesn't really understand what exactly, but the frantic pacing and theories that amount to wild conspiracy in his mind give the impression of great stress.

It's understandable, considering. Estinien himself can't stand being helpless - which is part of what has driven him to take action.]

Have you truly never worked alongside an uneasy ally before? One you could not fully trust but with whom you shared an important goal? Or one with whom you shared a mutual enemy?

[He thinks of Iceheart. Though he'd been willing to collaborate with her at the Warrior of Light's behest, but he had been persistently aware that she may just try to kill them during the first leg of their quest. 'Trust' was not the word he would have used.]

I can assure you that Solvunn has done very little to ingratiate itself to me, let alone has it dug in any 'claws'. If anything, I've felt that their unwillingness to appeal to their conscript's sensibilities is downright suicidal - the people here are entirely convinced of their gods' will, and that everyone who is meant to serve their nation will find their way in the end, by destiny alone if naught else.

I spoke to their council, and within that context I was the one pushing for action - and yet, they denied me. An odd choice, were they looking explicitly for pawns... to deny one directly asking for them to make use of him.

[Estinien shakes his head, seemingly a bit more confident as he speaks. He shakes his head.]

Nay... my investment in Solvunn's plans has little to do with the nation itself, and only that their goals lie closest to the actions I would take of mine own volution. Do you truly think me incapable of employing discretion? To having thoughts beyond what are supplied by someone else?

[He doesn't sound as offended as he could have - he just truly doesn't understand why Jaskier seems to think so little of him intellectually. To assume that cooperation means blind trust, to assume that Estinien taking a stance must be as a result of some machinations on Solvunn's part, to assume that he is helpless to be anything but a pawn. He'd genuinely thought that Jaskier respected him... he'd really like to be somehow misunderstanding.]

[cointosser]

[Jaskier stops pacing, putting his hands on his hips to look at him.] Uneasy ally? Like, what, a flatulent drummer? What sort of people do you think I work with?

[He thinks it's utterly fucking bizarre to be a warrior of any kind and work alongside, or for, as this is the case, someone that he feels uneasy about. If he's putting his life on the line, it better be alongside someone he would trust with holding a knife between his legs. Someone he could trust would not even nick his trousers.

This is really going nowhere. And in the end, Estinien is across this continent. He'll do what he believes in, and Jaskier will stay out of it.

Which means he'll have to find something else. Like... a proper fucking warning to Yennfer, maybe, even if she'll just ignore it.]

What I know of councils, and assemblies, ministries and parliaments -- they do not trust outsiders. So no, that doesn't particularly surprise me.

[He crosses his arms over his chest. What he's decided to say, he doesn't really want to. But it'll be true whether he says it or not.] I no longer think I understand you much at all, Estinien. Perhaps there is always meant to be a divide between bards and warriors. Discretion, to me, does not speak to the unleashing of wanton violence on others in similar circumstances.

[He doesn't think Estinien unintelligent, no. But he has met people similar. People like Ser Eyck. Who want to be used. To be used to get what they want. Glory, or power, or a sorceress's imagined virginity.

It's. The way the world works, he supposes. Every character in a play, no matter how minor, always has a desire.]

I didn't come to judge your choices or your character, I've simply... learned things. That surprise me. I'm glad you're all right, at the end of it. Truly. But I'm not sure if I can offer much more.